Hi Lovey,

I’m standing wrapped in a towel, dripping wet after jumping in our pool as we are having a crazy heat wave in LA, typing away at my kitchen island, with sopping wet hair.  I felt inspiration come in so I leapt to attention to answer, slippery hands and all!

I am approaching my 40th birthday next week and it feels like a big one for me.

This little life of mine has journeyed through some wild lands of healing and releasing the effects of abuse and immense suffering in the past four decades and I am grateful to be entering into a chapter where wisdom, love and creative expression are my guiding lights.

Where I know deep in my soul that love is the reason for which I am here and why I am talking to you.

I am guessing you can relate as you have a rich life story of your own that has likely traversed through heartbreak, loss of loved ones, grief of unborn babes or perhaps a disconnection from your most fiercely beautiful self.

I am holding this passage as sacred and giving myself the gift of slowing down, reflecting on what I intend to leave behind as well as what I am planting soul-centered seeds of to nurture and watch grow in the next chapter of my life as I choose love more fully and wholly each day. I am sitting with the words of Nathaniel Brandon and savoring them.

“How do I bring love into my life? My answer is that each day I principally focus on what I care most about in this world – on what I most respect and admire. That is what I give my time and attention to.” 

You know how we get messages whispered to us in our dreams – specifically, the liminal state in between sleep and waking early in the morning.  I’ve learned by now to listen to those promptings and whispers that come in – as if they are messages from my high self giving me guidance when my self-image and ego masks have their guide down from having been asleep.

What came in crystal clear recently in my early morning dreams was to very consciously create space for Release and Remembrance as I prepare for this milestone birthday.

Today I want to talk about Part One – Release Rituals. After my birthday, we  will begin the ritual of Remembrance and I will share some tips with you all then.


Part of taking exquisite care of ourselves as women is found through slowing down to look and listen.

Look at where we are going, look at what may be in the way.

Listen to what the next steps are along our journey of extraordinary love.

In other words, it is so important for the female psyche to MAKE SPACE FOR GRACE.  It is so easy for us to say yes to responsibilities, yes to kids, yes to making money and then realize another year has gone by and we wonder why we still feel unhappy, dissatisfied or meh.

For women it is too easy to feel on the outside of our lives, looking in, wondering where we have gone.

I know she is in there, the woman inside who is enchanting, who is connected to HER magic and is radiant with joy. I see her in you.

We call ourselves back home inside by taking time to RELEASE which no longer serves, but has served up until now.

This requires a willingness to acknowledge discomfort (you know, the relationship that isn’t working, the truth that has been withheld or the absence of eroticism in your marriage).

This also requires a greater willingness to remember your glory – the one in you that is already perfect, healed and complete because she remembers herself to love.

But here’s the catch – we cannot release from an energetic of rejection.  We can ONLY release with the energetic of acceptance if we want to be truly free.

We successfully integrate the qualities we are all looking to grow into (greater beauty, wisdom, joy, etc) by accepting and honoring the qualities / habits we are letting go of (shame, deception, blame) by acknowledging how they have served us.

For example, it has been a challenge in the past for me to accept how sensitive my personality is – this sensitivity has many gifts yet it also shows up with a guard of self-protection and a hyper-sensitivity to criticism and other’s perceptions of me.

The more I attempted to ‘rid myself’ of this flaw, the energy of rejection and opposition locked it in.

The more I am able to recognize the gifts this pattern has given to me, the more I am embracing that which I had previously deemed unlovable and the energy of an accepting embrace helps dissolve the grip of judgement.

A Wise Woman’s Guide To Release:

  • Light a candle. Take a deep breath. Let it out. Reflect upon what you seek to RELEASE as you move forward into this next season of life. Make a list of things, people, habits or attitudes that you feel hold you back from loving fully and being loved full.


  • Now – think about one thing you struggle with in yourself – is it a habit of blame, over-eating or saying yes when you mean no?


  • Notice, how do you FEEL about yourself when you think of this?  Do you FEEL contracted, judgmental or wish it would go away? This is where we intervene with our soul gifts of caring, we bring our compassion to the struggle and shift our energetic approach inside.


  • Practice looking at this issue, you wish to release, with soft eyes, look for how it is really just a habit pattern of your ego that is doing it’s best to keep you safe, protected and free from harm. Chances are if you look deep enough, you will see it is serving you somehow.


  • Holding this in mind, now release a prayer into the Universe (my Mom taught me this prayer when I was a teenager). “Dear Life, Into your hands I place this issue / problem.  Reveal to me what needs to be revealed, heal in me what needs to be healed. Heal me at depth so I may glorify in you. I let go and I let God.”  


  • Let it go and know that your prayer has been heard.


This is an invitation to release with an inner attitude of acceptance and understanding.

When we come to a place of releasing a limiting pattern with gratitude for how it has served us, we are already free.

Try it.  I’d love to hear your thoughts and how this worked for you. Come on over to my Facebook Group Extraordinary Love to join in the conversation. I’ll even be hosting live coaching hours to answer any questions this coming Monday.