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Why Nike’s ‘Just Do It’ Doesn’t Apply to Sex and Love image

Ever wonder why you behave in certain ways that you know darn well aren’t good for you in romance? Isn’t it even more frustrating when you know what you should be doing yet can’t seem to shift your behavior? Have you ever… Kept going back for hot sex even when you knew it wasn’t good for your heart? Continued to text, chase or pursue him even though he has made it abundantly clear that he’s just not that into you? Wasted endless hours stalking a guy on Facebook when you knew you needed to be working? I get it, I’ve been there. You’re smart, you’re self aware, you know whats up. Except...when it comes to shifting limiting patterns with men that keep you confounded, unhappy ...

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Who’s In Charge of Your Emotional Maturity? image

IT'S YOUR FAULT! Ever said or thought those words before in relationship? It is so easy to assume that if ‘he’ were different, you would be happier. As much as fairytales try to teach us that, it just isn’t true. What it actually is, is an indicator that your emotional maturity could use a boost because your Little Girl may be running parts of the reaktionship show. You must be willing to ask yourself, “Am I coming from that little girl who ultimately feels needy for love and thinks he can rescue me? Or am I standing in the space of the adult woman who knows who she is, what she wants, and is committed to to meeting this -- both within herself ...

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The #1 Lie You May Be Telling Yourself About Intimacy image

Maybe you are anticipating a romantic getaway that your mate thoughtfully planned out for you, replete with love notes, flowers, and chocolates. Maybe you are relishing how adored and appreciated you feel. Perhaps you are finally experiencing the joyful simplicity of partnership. Maybe you are sick of feeling alone and your friends enjoying partnership are yet another big fat reminder of this. I hear that many of you are wondering why it may seem so hard to meet a good ‘conscious’ man or how to revive what went south between you and your hubby. I have a lot of women coming to me for coaching with relationship help these days. They are either single and seeking partnership, or are unhappy in their relationship ...

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Why ‘Drunk In Love’ Only Works for Beyonce (And How it May Be Getting You in Trouble) image

Remember the frenzied hormones and the awkward confusion about getting to first base, second base or third base as an adolescent? How intoxicating a first kiss could be? Attraction based on chemistry as a young teen is biologically designed to ensure that our species continues. This is driven by parts of our brain which seek survival through procreation, by diligently pumping us full of turned-on feelings. This happens through the biochemicals which only seek one thing - hot make out sessions and a sense of blinding, "oh I know I shouldn't/not ready/want to wait but it FEELS so good!" In my private coaching practice, I hear many single women in particular who are wanting lasting long-term partnership. Yet, they say they ...

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Top 5 Red Flags That Block the Intimacy You Say You Want image

Growing up in an alcoholic home taught me so many rich and wonderful things about self-esteem and worthiness. Through a long and tortuous path of shame, insecurity, and misinterpreting my Pop's inabilities as meaning that there was something wrong with me, these all led me to discover home inside of me. I've learned to dig deep into self compassion. I've learned to stand up inside of myself, for myself. I've learned the value of strengthening 'spaghetti arms' -- (you know, Dirty Dancing) -- where my space begins and your space ends. I have learned how to say no when I mean no and say yes when I mean yes. I've learned to read the red flags and cues that the younger one inside of me ...

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Hey Sensitive Feelers – Are You Taking Caring of These 3 Emotional Boundaries? image

I've found that many of the women who hire me for private coaching do so because they want to get stronger in themselves and express this more powerfully in their world. They want to keep their soft, caring heart, yet grow a backbone. They want to hear their own voice and use it on their own behalf. They want to preserve their sensitivity yet no longer be a doormat. They want to take care of themselves as much as they take care of others. These women are the healers of the world. The nurturers, the caregivers, the deep divers of the soul. They create beauty. They are here to connect, uplift and inspire. They know their loving has the capacity to heal. Yet, they may ...

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How To Resist The Urge To Bolt (From a Former Serial Bolter) image

I've bolted from everything from hot yoga to high school (I think I lasted about 4 weeks in the 9th grade), to being held against my own will in a creepy old drunk mans car when I was a girl. (Actually, the police helped with that one. They stopped at the lone parked car to see if everything was okay and I ran). There have also been many awkward misunderstandings in friendships, to moments that could have been intimate but I withdrew instead. When I really think about it, bolting has been a way of life in many regards. It's the survival function of the brain that is seeking to escape from danger, no matter if the danger is real ...

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The Beauty in Slowing Down image

One thing I see as a measure of maturity and growth is an ability to get into reality with transformation. Personal mastery recognizes that it's a PROCESS. Lasting change takes time. Any programs that offer quick fixes, instant success, or shortening the timeline to financial freedom all rest on a foundation of aversion. It's so normal, er... human, to push away the discomfort of slow and steady growth and instead want instant relief. Slow but steady requires moving through insecurity, moving beyond doubt, and lots of stumbling. This part is sometimes agonizing. Hence the prevalence of substance use, gambling, fad diets or any other approach that falsely promises immediacy. I find what this urgency covers is a deep insecurity and mistrust of life. When we ...

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Musings On Allowing Good Things to Happen image

I've been waking up cranky these past few days. Filled with a low-grade sense of deflation -- 'what is there to be excited about?' my mind laments. No big whoops happening. In fact, things are really solid and really good. My relationship with Nicholas keeps getting more extraordinary, my coaching practice is filled with glorious and amazing people, our home is lovely, and I am surrounded by loved ones. Sometimes the monkey mind has no clue what to do with this! I've known for some time that my path of learning through life is an experiential one. It’s less about getting the next shiny object that will temporarily create sensation but recedes back into the normalcy of whatever my internal baseline is. It is ...

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3 Tips to Avert Disaster When Communicating With Your Man image

Thanks to Adrian, my new trainer at Equinox, I couldn’t walk today, which is why I’m writing you from my bathtub. I'm sure you would laugh if you could see me -- with a rose petal face mask on, skidding around as if I was ice-skating on my rear end. My tub is a bit too big and the salts make it extra slippery. I took a G-rated selfie to send to you but chickened out. Why am I in my tub and why does it matter to you? I'm in my tub because I'm playing a new game. The game is to stay so close to that which takes care of my body and nurtures my heart while incorporating these things into ...

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