Why I Believe Women Have Been Conditioned to Support Bullying Culture

After receiving countless calls and emails from women asking my perspective on the recent U.S. election, I felt compelled to share my thoughts. Many have wondered: why did so many women support a leader who embodies bullying, anger, and aggression? I believe the answer lies in a pattern we’ve unknowingly internalized—a high threshold for tolerating and even normalizing men’s destructive behavior.

Think about it. Whether it was a father who scolded us, a husband who took his stress out on us, or a boss who dismissed our ideas and concerns, nearly every woman I know has been spoken down to, dismissed, or disrespected by a man. We are conditioned, from a young age, to accept these behaviors as part of life, to look the other way, to keep the peace. I have yet to meet a woman who hasn’t experienced this firsthand.

The outcome of this election speaks volumes about our culture, which normalizes blame, shame, and division. Beneath the surface, so many of us are wrestling with unaddressed pain and loneliness. As I often remind my clients, “Mad is the bodyguard of Sad.” Our culture encourages men to express anger but shames them for showing vulnerability. Meanwhile, women are conditioned to ignore or excuse men’s destructive behaviors, teaching us to hold back when we feel disrespected or hurt.

This election feels like a call to action for us as women. It’s time to start using our voices—to speak up, set boundaries, say no, and walk away when a man’s anger is directed toward us or those around us. This isn’t about shaming or vilifying men; it’s about recognizing that reactive anger and dominance are culturally embedded behaviors that need to be acknowledged. Just as importantly, we need to examine the ways we unconsciously reinforce these behaviors by letting them go unchallenged.

It’s also essential to acknowledge that many women use anger to hide their sadness and protect themselves from vulnerability. Often, these women have experienced their own hurt, distancing themselves from their humanity and the feminine strength within them.

Think back to the last time you felt gaslit, dismissed, or barked at by a man. For many, it’s a weekly or even daily occurrence—unless you’ve chosen to create distance for your own self preservation.

Now is the time to reclaim our strength and use our voices. We hold the power to say no, to set boundaries, and to break the cycle of dominance that limits our potential. Together, we can rewrite this story, fostering a culture where feminine power is respected, valued, and celebrated. Let’s model this for our sons, daughters, and generations to come.

I hope this perspective brings value to you and invites you to consider your own role in this cultural shift. We all have a part to play.